A Freeing Decision... and Some Changes

I created this blog with the intention of using it to chronicle my efforts at starting a business this year. I've read books, written plans, and am currently taking an amazing Business e-Course through which I've learned SO much and met so many amazing women with beautiful businesses and ideas.

But the most recent lesson I've learned was the most surprising. It was also the most freeing.

Lesson Learned

I learned that I don't want to run a business right now.

"What's that?" you say? You read that right. I don't want to run a business right now.

It came to me last night as I was talking to my mom about how I needed to be working on my website and about how I should be putting together a marketing plan. That little clever voice in my soul asked me why I wasn't more excited about doing these things; why they felt like chores. And the answer, when I stopped and sat still and listened?

Because it isn't the right time right now, dear heart.

That's right. I do still dream of making a living helping others while being my own boss. But that time isn't now.

Staying True

Like many women, I tend to stress. And lately I've been stressing about money. After Little Man's birth, I took the maximum maternity leave allowed by my employer and then I took the maximum part-time transition period allowed by my employer. I cherished this time with Little Man, but it was taxing on our finances and savings account. Which led me stress about needing to make more money.

Enter the business plan. And here's the interesting thing. That created a vicious cycle. I was stressed about money so I decided I needed to make more money by starting up my business. But then I was stressing about needing to work on my business after a long day of work and caring for my children and family. To get rid of my stress I was creating a different kind of stress.

Realizing that cycle was a revelation. And choosing to say "not right now" to my business? That was the lightest I've felt in ages.

Freedom!

Here's the truth of the matter. I'm at a point in my life that I'll never get back. Little Girl starts kindergarten this fall. Little Man just turned seven months old and is doing new things almost every day. These are days that will never come again. And I want to be able to truly savor them. I want to be happy and engaged and fully present in these amazing moments.

The Lord has richly blessed me in the ways that truly matter. Sure, I'll still be stressed about money for the time being. But it's all about perspective. Yes, I have more debt than I'd like, but we can still pay our mortgage and bills and put food on the table. We are richly blessed. My business idea will still be there when I'm ready to work on it and have it be fun and fulfilling rather than another source of stress.

What's Next Here?

I'm still going to blog here. This decision-making process has reminded me that I'm still more Type A than I would like - a bit too much of a control freak and a bit too much of a stress bunny. Life should be a celebration of joy and the blessings we receive. I lose focus on that more often than I should.

I'm still pursuing that brass ring, but what that ring is has changed. Now it's a life of joy and gratitude. And that's what I'll be blogging about now. I'll be sharing the things that make me happy, positive and uplifting stories, and my efforts at letting go and finding my more carefree soul. I hope you'll stick around for the ride!

Have You Filled Your Bucket Today?

Out of the blue at dinner tonight, Little Girl declared that my mother and I needed to smile at each other so we could be "bucket fillers" instead of "bucket dippers".

"What do you mean, sweetie?" I asked her.


Photo source

In the manner of 5-year-olds, her explanation was lengthy and a bit scattered, but the gist of it was that we need to do things for ourselves and for each other that "fill our bucket" and we need to make sure that we aren't stealing from other people's buckets by being mean to them, otherwise known as being a "bucket dipper". It seems there is a book at her school about this very thing that she read the other day. Clearly, it made an impact.

And she made an impact on me tonight. Her talk of bucket fillers and dippers reminded me of what got me excited about the idea of running my own business in the first place. I enjoy my full-time job and I'm good at it, but it doesn't fill my bucket. What percentage of my bucket is filled by my job all to often is countered by the "dips" from my bucket that happen when my job leaves me too little time or energy for my super-charged (and favorite) bucket filler: my family.

While Little Girl was reading her Bucket Book, I've been reading a book of my own about making the most out of the eight hours a day that we're not at work or sleeping. (And, yes, I do recognize the irony of spending those eight hours reading a book about how to maximize those eight hours.)

I want to use those other eight hours to make my bucket overflow. I want to receive the spiritual uplift I get from using my talents to help fill the buckets of those around me. THIS is what has kept me in the constant refrain of "I want my own business" for the past three or four years. I have talents and gifts to share and I've learned over time that my bucket runneth over when I help others' buckets runneth over.

When I have those moments of self-doubt, those moments of fear - fear of failure, fear of success - this is what I shall return to. My business dreams, and the people I'll help when those dreams are realized, are what will fill my bucket.

What fills your bucket?

Big wild scary wonderful dreams

For too long I've let my job title define me. "I can't run a crafting or freelance business or write a children's book because I'm a career counselor, not an author or an entrepreneur." Why can't I be all those things? With only one shot at this life, why shouldn't I pursue everything that interests and excites me? 

That question is what sparked me to start this blog in the first place; this was to be my "home base" for starting my entrepreneurial dreams and sharing all the fears, challenges, and (hopefully) successes that go with it. Instead I've used it as my home base to talk about everything but that. And that's okay. I've been writing about things that excite me and that I love and want to share.

What hasn't been okay is that I've also been writing about those things as an excuse not to take that terrifying first leap into the business of my dreams. No longer. This post is my announcement to the world that I will shortly be making my business dreams a reality.

I'm tossing out the beliefs that I have to have it all figured out before "going public". Instead, I'm going to learn on the job, just like I have when I've been working for someone else.

I'm tossing out the beliefs that I have to be recognized as an expert by somebody else before anybody will want to hire me. Instead, I have faith and confidence in my talents and abilities. I know my strengths and I know where I have lots more to learn.

I have gifts to share and a desire to help others and a dream of making a better life for myself, my family, and those I work with. 

So, while I will still continue to blog about Northeast Ohio, suggestions for family fun, and other things of interest to me, you'll also start to see more about my efforts to make my business dreams a reality! It's going to be an exciting ride and I can't wait to share it all with all of you!


(P.S. If you're curious about what has helped me muster the conviction to stop procrastinating and just get myself out there already, I encourage you to check out Leonie Dawson and wonderful circles of women she has helped to form over at the Goddess Guidebook Circle. I'm only one week into her Business Goddess e-Course, but it has already helped me to see that my ideas aren't crazy and to let go of that feeling that everything has to be perfect before I can send it out into the world.)

Sharing Memorial Day with Your Children

This is Memorial Day weekend here in the United States. All around us are signs that summer is approaching - the weather is getting warmer, barbecues are out, farmers markets are open, and the Cleveland Indians are in first place. In recent years it seems as if Memorial Day has more and more just come to signal "the unofficial start of summer" (as one newscaster stated recently) and an opportunity to snag some great deals at your favorite stores.


Photo source

 But Memorial Day is about so much more than that. Perhaps I feel it more keenly because I grew up on military installations around the world. I am the daughter, granddaughter, niece, and cousin of career Air Force veterans and an active duty Army soldier. It was easy to understand the meaning of Memorial Day when you were surrounded by the day-to-day activities of protecting and defending our country.

Now that I'm a full-fledged "civvie" (aka civilian), I ask myself each year how I can properly teach Little Girl about the importance of Memorial Day. I want her to understand the role our military personnel have played over the years in helping to ensure the freedoms she enjoys as an American citizen are always hers to enjoy.

The concepts of Memorial Day are often challenging for young children to understand. "Freedom" and the benefits that go with it are very abstract ideas and the concept of death can be very scary to some kids. If you have a young child like me, perhaps these tips and ideas will help you introduce Memoral Day and its significance to your little American:

• Ask your child. Start by asking what she thinks Memorial Day is. Some schools teach about the day, so asking what your child already knows will help you decide where to take the conversation.
• Have a short vocabulary lesson. Talk about what it means to remember something or someone. Explain that when we remember someone in a specific way, like with a picture or a story or a gravestone, we are memorializing them and that's where the term Memorial Day comes from.
• Put out the flag. Let your child help you put your flag out on Memorial Day. Talk with him about the meanings of our flag and the things that it symbolizes.
• Read a book. There have been lots of books written about Memorial Day and about soldiers and other military members. Head to your local library and find one or two age-appropriate ones that can help tell the story of our country and our military to your wee one. Sit together to read and discuss the story.
• Cemetery walk. If you think it's appropriate for your child's age and personality, take a family trip to a nearby cemetery. If possible, make it a military cemetery. The visual of the flags, flowers, and other decorations will help make the abstract idea of Memorial Day more concrete in your little one's mind.
• Hit the parade. If there's a parade in your neighborhood and your child handles crowds well, grab the folding chairs and snag your spot on the parade route. The activity will be exciting for your child and you'll have the opportunity to talk to them about all the various symbols of our country that will show up as the parade passes.

There are also lots of resources on the internet to help you explain Memorial Day to your children, including coloring pages, puzzles, crafts and activities, poems, and more. (These links all came from the same website, but a search for "teaching kids Memorial Day" yields a lengthy list of other resources as well.)

What will you be doing to teach your child the importance of Memorial Day?

Great New Foodie Destination: Hodge's Downtown Cleveland

Last night was Hot Hubby's 35th birthday and to celebrate I took him to dinner at Hodge's Downtown Cleveland. This new restaurant, founded and run by food truck pioneer and proud Cleveland native Chris Hodgson, opened a couple of months ago. For the past two years, Hodgson has been feeding us on the streets from his trucks, Dim and Den Sum and Hodge Podge. Now he has a permanent location from which to serve his upscale takes on classic comfort foods.

And he does not disappoint.

The restaurant itself has a comfortable, masculine-country feel to it, with simple decorating, beautiful old-wood paneling, and perhaps the most comfortable armchair-like seats I've ever sat in at a restaurant. We sat in the smaller upstairs dining area, which afforded us a nice view of the large bar area while distancing us enough from the noise of the bar that we could actually carry on a conversation without needing to raise our voices. I really appreciated that.

Our dinner started with a gratis amuse bouche from the chef of tater tots with a parmesan & bacon topping served with creme fraiche dipping sauce. We munched on those while perusing the varied dinner menu and trying to decide what we wanted to try. We decided to start with the Hodge's Honey Ribs. These were perfectly cooked - the meat fell right off the bone, the outside had a nice crisp to it and the inside was tender, juicy, and deliciously flavorful. The honey mustard glaze provided a sharp yet sweet tang and accompanying sherry slaw was well-balanced complement.

For dinner, Hot Hubby ordered the "Unfried" Chicken and I opted for the French Onion Ravioli. We were also treated to a skillet of cornbread to accompany our meal. I adore cornbread, and this was some of the best I've ever had. This is when we discovered that the value for the price at Hodge's is better than expected. The "Unfried" Chicken was a half-chicken, beautifully roasted and perfectly cooked. Like the ribs, it was falling off the bone and incredibly juicy. The accompanying macaroni & cheese was served in a cast iron dish and was also very tasty.

My French Onion Ravioli was, not exaggerating, the best thing I have eaten in a very long time. Describing it as ravioli with a French Onion Soup sauce is too simplistic. The homemade ravioli were stuffed with ricotta and gruyere, which provided a smooth flavor and texture to balance the tang of the French Onion reduction. It was seriously so delicious. I can see myself being hard pressed to try new things the next time we visit because I'll want to eat this again and again.

We ended our meal with a brownie sundae topped with Mitchell's Hodge Podge ice cream. The brownie was crispy on the outside and gooey on the inside, and we joked that Hodge's sister Catie had to have a hand in the ice cream recipe as it was chock full of the puppy chow that she sold like hot cakes on The Great Food Truck Race.

We got a laugh when our bill was delivered to us on a tray in a red envelope printed with "THE DAMAGE" in silver letters. And while the bill wasn't cheap (we'd also each had a cocktail), the value was excellent. Portion sizes were large, and we appreciate that most of the food served is locally sourced. All in all, we're already looking forward to our next visit.

Blessings of Family

My apologies for my extended absences of late. I've been taking a bit of a hiatus from regular updates because my mom is visiting from out of town.

You see, I'm a Northeast Ohio transplant. I came here for college, but had no family or other close ties to the state. My father was active duty military my entire childhood and, when he retired, my parents moved to the Puget Sound area of Washington. It's a gorgeous place to visit, but it means that I generally don't see my parents very often.


Momma w/Little Man



But my mom is retired now, which means that she now has the time to enjoy extended stays with us. Since Little Man was born, this has been a wonderful blessing. She came out before he was born to help us get ready and to be with Little Girl when Hot Hubby and I had to go to the hospital for Little Man's arrival. She stayed for some of my maternity leave before heading home.

And now she's back to help watch Little Man during the days when I'm at work. This is a tremendous blessing because infant child care is absurdly expensive! Plus, this is precious time for her, too, getting to know her grandchildren better.

My momma is one of my best friends, so I'm soaking up as much time with her as I can. This means, unfortunately, that I'm not updating as frequently. But don't despair - I'm still planning posts and do intend to update, just probably only every couple of weeks for the next two months. You all understand, right?

In the spirit of welcoming out-of-towners to our fabulous city, what sights do you think I should take my mom to see?

I sure needed this today... do you?

I love when the universe reminds me there's something bigger and better and greater out there watching over me.

You see, today got off to a really rough start. Like, really rough. Like the kind where I got to work, closed my blinds and my office door and just cried for five minutes. I was feeling unhappy, unappreciated, and disengaged. In a nutshell, I was feeling very negatively about myself.

Then I checked my Reader feed and saw this waiting for me:

It was from a blog post by Goddess Leonie, who I've recently discovered and who has been helping me keep myself focused on the positive and all the wonderful gifts I have to offer to my family, friends, co-workers and the world.

I was most definitely feeling NOT AT ALL awesome this morning. But I'm feeling slightly more awesome now - all it took was the universe reminding me, via the Goddess community.

The blog post challenged me to list all the ways that I'm awesome. I only have time right now to list a few, but it's done wonders for my mood already. Here are some of the ways that I am awesome:

1. I always try my very hardest to be a kind, loving, and supportive momma, wife, daughter, and friend.
2. I love cooking for my family - the joy of pulling together separate ingredients into a delicious meal that nurtures my family.
3. I try every day to make sure I'm a better person today than I was yesterday.

I am awesome, even when I don't feel like I am. And you are awesome, too. WE ARE AWESOME. We just need reminding sometimes.

It's your turn now - list some of the ways that you are awesome. I promise your day will look brighter and your soul will feel lighter.

Make today a great day!

The Natives Are Restless

After a teaser week of gorgeous warm weather in March, we've returned to the gloomy, windy, and cold weather that is our usual early April staple. Even though the calendar says it's Spring, the rain and hail (yes, hail!) that we've received today says something completely different.

This recent cold snap has been very annoying to Little Girl, who appears to believe that the change in seasons from Winter to Spring should also mean an immediate shift in weather temperatures. She asks every day if she can wear short sleeves and shorts. She asks every day if she can go to the park. She asks every day to go outside and play. With Little Man being still so very little, I'm more reluctant than usual to go outside in 40-degree weather.

From Ubisoft

Fortunately, I think I'm stumbled upon the solution to my current problem. The Easter Bunny brought Little Girl her very own XBox 360 Kinect game called Just Dance 3. It's one of those "you are the controller games" where you dance to music - either trying to follow the computer's choreography or just free dancing however the music moves you.

Like so many wee ones, Little Girl loves to dance and move her body. We gave the game a spin for the first time last night and, ladies and gentlemen, WE HAVE A WINNER! She was laughing and squealing and moving her body. She and Hot Hubby danced together to three songs and, even though they were on the Easy level, both were pretty wiped out by the end of it. Little Girl was most excited that the game has Party Rock Anthem on it - that was the first song she wanted to dance to.

I wish I had snapped a picture of them - but Little Man was in a put-me-down-and-I'll-scream mood at that time. I'll just have to do a follow-up post!

So, even if you don't have a video game console, get through this current cold snap by cranking up the radio and shaking your booty!

What's your favorite indoor activity for the restless little natives?

Memories Are Made of This

It's Opening Day for major league baseball today. For the first time in many years, Hubby and I did not go to the Indians' Opening Day together. 


A sunny day for the return of baseball in Cleveland

 While I was disappointed not to share this day with my husband, I relinquished our tradition in order to make way for a new, and probably better, tradition. For today, Little Girl attended her first Opening Day.

We told her on Sunday that Daddy was going to share one of his favorite days of the year with her, and every day since then she'd been asking, "Is today Opening Day?" Her enthusiasm and excitement for this new experience reminded me of the joy that can - and should - be found in the everyday.

Each day this week, Little Girl's anticipation grew. Hubby and I were both eager to see her reaction when we reminded her this morning that today was finally the Big Day. Her grin could have lit Manhattan - she danced around her room chanting her excitement and then began digging excitedly in her dresser for her Shin Soo Choo t-shirt.
 As I completed my tasks at work this afternoon my thoughts often jumped a few miles west to downtown and Progressive Field. I wondered how Little Girl and Hubby were faring on their Daddy-Daughter Date. I wished I could see her face as she drank in the colors, sounds, and pageantry that are always part of this day at the ballpark. As I drove home from work I eagerly awaited hearing my daughter's impressions of the day. I cherished the moments as she told me all about what she saw and what she ate and then showed me the pink mini bat Daddy bought her as a souvenir.

Family traditions are important. We work to honor the traditions that have been passed down to us, but I believe firmly that the development of new traditions is also important. While the specific details of this day will likely fade as Little Girl grows older and attends more Opening Days, I have a strong suspicion that she will always remember her excitement at being asked to share one of her Daddy's "most favorite days" with him.

Were you at Opening Day today? What new family traditions will you start this year?

The Hardest Part? Getting Started

I've been a bit neglectful of this blog lately. My apologies. Unfortunately, the primary reason for that is that I've also been a bit neglectful of my goals and ambitions lately.

At the beginning of the year, I had a burst of energy and creativity. I came up with a name for my business, pattern ideas for my first products, even catchy names for a couple of the products.  I talked a lot about my goals and I even wrote them down.

Then time passed....

A few weeks ago, I had another burst of energy and creativity. I ordered labels for my products, set up an account on Etsy, created my Facebook page.

I think about it every day. I've written out so many things - ideas, pattern dimensions, marketing goals.

But I'm struggling with that next step. Part of it is a balance issue. I know I've chosen a difficult time to try and add a new endeavor to my plate. I work a full-time job, I'm a wife, a mother to a busy five-year-old and a nursing four-month-old. By the time I get everybody to bed at night, prepare bottles and bags for the next day, I'm wiped. (I feel asleep on the couch at 9:30 last night.)

But I also can't help but wonder if part of the struggle I have in taking that next step with my business is nervousness about putting myself out there. Once I put all this time and energy and love into bringing my creative vision to reality, will anybody even like or want it?

I won't let that nervousness stop me, of course. I believe in my idea. I want to see it come to life. I will see it come to life.

What's that saying? "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

What project, dream, or goal have you found challenging to get started on? What motivated you to take that first step?

Gratitude Every Day

I recently started a new family tradition that I'm hoping will keep us all focused on the positive in a life that can get very hectic and stressful. Every night, at dinner, we each share one thing that we're grateful for that day.

I have a very annoying habit of letting the stresses of work, managing a family, and trying to start a business get to me and affect my mood. This isn't fair to me or to my family so I've been working hard to keep myself focused on habits and thoughts that are motivating and uplifting. This is one way to do that while, hopefully, also teaching Little Girl about the importance of being humble and grateful about the blessings in our lives.

I think my Little Girl might be teaching me a few things, though. Last night, Hot Hubby was grateful for the beautiful weather we've been having and I was grateful that Little Girl is feeling better (she's getting over an ear infection).

What was Little Girl grateful for? She was grateful for God. Why? Because, she so wisely pointed out, without God she wouldn't be able to be grateful for the sunshine, the animals, her My Little Ponies, her baby brother, or any of the other things she loves because they wouldn't exist.

Yep, I've got a pretty clever girl on my hands?

As the seasons change and many of us prepare to celebrate the Easter holiday, what are you grateful for?

The End of Brittanica...

...on the bookshelf, at least.

The publisher of Encyclopaedia Brittanica announced today that, after 244 years (244!!!), it will no longer publish a print edition of the reference source.

While this is not particularly surprising in this digital age, it's also sad. I have fond childhood memories of discovering lots of things about the world in the pages of the Brittanica in my school and community libraries. In school, the Brittanica was always my first stop when given a paper to write or a project to complete.

As a parent, though, I'm also sad because I'm left wondering how my daughter will learn how to conduct research. Sure, there's the internet with its Wikipedias, blogs, and websites for everything under the sun. But there's something to holding a book in your hands, turning the pages, holding something concrete.

As you read this, you might be thinking, "Wow, this woman is a nerd." Yes, yes, I am. Though, truthfully, I prefer the term geek. I love reading. I love learning new things. I love holding a book in my hands.

But there's also importance to understanding the elements of research - reliable sources vs unreliable; primary vs secondary. Can that be taught when the internet is the only resource left available in the public schools? I guess I'll find out as my daughter enters school in the fall (not that kindergarters do much research).

The irony of this news being released today is that Little Girl and I were talking tonight about the new things she learned at her pre-K program today. She was telling me about the killdeer and how it builds its nests on the ground. I asked her why it didn't build its nests in a tree and she told me she didn't know. My response? We'll look it up in the encyclopedia when we go to the library this weekend.

I guess we still can. For now.

Will You Be Voting Today?

It's election day in Ohio and several other states today. Will you be voting?

This blog is not a political blog and will never be a political blog. But I decided I had to blog about the election today in the hopes of catching some of you fellow Lake County, Ohio, residents - specifically those of you in the Willoughby-Eastlake School District.

There's a super-important levy issue on the ballot today for Willoughby-Eastlake voters. Please vote in favor of it. Our school district needs the money. Our district has long operated on a very lean budget. The poor economy coupled with rapid increases in unfunded federal mandates have put our district in a bad spot. They need this levy. Cuts will be coming whether this levy passes or not. Many argue that the quality of a Willoughby-Eastlake education will be impacted whether the levy passes or not.

But if this levy doesn't pass, our children and your neighbors' children will be the ones who will, in the end, pay the price. Sure, they'll still get an education, but it will be without the benefit of free access to team sports, without robust arts programs, in classes with higher student-to-teacher ratios, and more. And perhaps most concerning to me - kindergarten will now carry a price tag of $2900 for the year. This early childhood education is a critical foundation to future student success and there are many in our district for whom $2900 is unaffordable.

So, that's my plea. I don't care what politician you're voting for today or in November. But I do hope you'll get out and support our schools.

And you have now read a post that is the closest I'll ever get to talking politics on this blog. Now, go get out and vote!

And We Hold Our Babies Tighter

We woke this morning to news that a second student passed away after being shot at Chardon High School yesterday. I was going to blog about my goals or something fluffy today, but I look at Little Man playing in his gym and I can't do it.

I wasn't planning on blogging about Chardon High School either, though, as the news outlets and other blogs have already done so quite eloquently. But I look at my son and I think of my daughter off at her preschool and I wonder how I'll explain things like this to them as they get older.

We talk frequently with our daughter about the blessings God gives us in life. And I know someday - probably sooner than I'd like - she'll ask me why God lets horrific things like this happen too. And I wonder whether I'll have an answer she'll be able to accept.

For now, I sit here and I cherish my children, grateful I got to hug and kiss them last night and greet them with a smile this morning.

And I send up prayers in support of all those for whom the world changed forever yesterday.

That Time of Year Again

For those of us who celebrate, the season of Lent is upon us. This year was the first in at least 10 years, I think, that we didn't make it to Ash Wednesday service. It felt weird not going. Odd as it may sound, Ash Wednesday is my favorite liturgical observance - I find the self-reflection and humbleness that the season of Lent encourages to be a refreshing time of year. In this warp-speed-paced world, Lent reminds me each year to center myself and re-focus on what's really important both spiritually and in my day-to-day life.

In the spirit of re-centering and re-focusing, I also look to the season of Lent as a time to focus my attentions on improving myself in some small way. In years past, I've worked on improving my health by giving up fast food or chocolate.

This year, I've given up something that may seem bizarre. I've given up yelling.

Don't take that the wrong way - I'm not an angry, temper-tossing fusspot. My Lenten sacrifice could just as easily be turned on its head and phrased as "I've determined to balance my emotions and stress levels in a more positive way."

You see, I have a new baby at home, I've just returned to work, I have a five-year-old, and a very busy husband. Even though Little Man sleeps very well at night (knock on wood), the transition back to work has made me a very tired momma. Little Girl is like the old nursery rhyme - most of the time she's great, an absolute joy, but when she's bad she's awful.

And one of the things I've noticed through all these recent transitions and added stressors in my life is that I yell more than I used to. And I don't like how that makes me feel or those I love. So my Lenten promise is to fix it.

So, yes, it may be a bit weird. And I'm sure I'll slip up here and there. But the beauty of making this my Lenten promise is that, for the next 40 days, it's going to be forefront in my mind. And when I feel the stress closing in or my frustration levels rising, I'll have that mental tap on the brain to remind myself to focus and center and handle myself in a more positive and constructive way. And that will be better for me and for my family.

What is your Lenten promise?

Back to Work

Friday was my first day back to work since Little Man was born. I have the good fortune of only having to go back part-time for the rest of the academic year, but knowing that didn't really make the first day back any easier.

 

For me, the hardest part was actually Thursday night. As I gave Little Man his night-night feeding, I found that I didn't want it to end. He'd long since finished nursing and fallen asleep on my shoulder and I still sat there, holding him close and rocking him. After ten minutes, I steeled myself to get up and put him into his crib. After all, he needs his proper sleep just as I do. I kissed his little head as I laid him down, turned out his lamp, and quietly left his room.

Then I walked into the living room and lost it. I sobbed into my husband's shoulder for a good five minutes.

I recall having similar feelings when I had to return to work after Little Girl was born. And I know my feelings are not unique among the community of working moms. Whether we work because we want to or because we have to, we all miss our children and wish that we could have more time with them.

My biggest concern in going back to work is time management. How early do I have to get up to get myself ready, get Little Man's bottles and things ready, and get him up, dressed, fed, and in his car seat. I did okay on Friday, if leaving 10 minutes late without having eaten breakfast can be considered okay. (I say yes, it can be.)

Of course, the only reason I did that well was because I packed all his bottles and other things, laid out all my clothes in the bathroom, and packed my lunch the night before. Here's hoping I can continue to get all those things done in the evenings. If not, then I fear I'll be up the proverbial creek missing that all-essential paddle.

Fortunately, once at work, I was busy all day and it was 5:00 almost before I knew it. Thank goodness for small favors.

So far, the best lesson I've learned being a working mom of two is to plan and pack ahead as much as possible to make the mornings go smoothly.

What's your best tip for getting two or more kids out of the house on time in the mornings?

I find this so disheartening

Ironically, on the same day I posted my last entry about my 2012 goal to lose weight and get healthier, I received a catalog in the mail from a company I'd never heard of before. I won't name the company here except to say that I was initially excited by their byline: "Dedicated to the art of well-being". I thought perhaps the catalog would offer me time-saving products, products designed to help me organize my home and life, etc.

Nope. I turned to the first two pages and was almost disgusted to see that, of the eight products featured, all of them were beauty products and four of them were designed to either hide "flaws", help you lose weight, make you look slimmer, or otherwise shape your body to make you look "better" than you are naturally. And the rest of the catalog (all 49 pages of it), followed in the same vein.

Now I know many women go in for this kind of stuff. That much is obvious; if they didn't, these kinds of companies or products wouldn't even exist.

But, as much as I groan when I see my stretch marks and huff in frustration when I measure my hips and rear end, it saddens me to see all this targeted merchandising preying on the insecurities of women. Am I happy with my stretch marks? No, they're definitely not attractive. But they are a sign of the fact that my body carried two healthy babies to term, nurturing them and protecting them. Do I wish my hips and bottom were slimmer so I could fit into the "cool" styles of jeans? Sometimes. But God made me this way and blessed me with good health, so I really have no room for complaint.

Ladies, we're none of us perfect. But we're all of us beautiful just the way we are. And I'm personally looking forward to tearing that catalog up and tossing it in recycling.

True beauty is the self confidence to be comfortable in your own skin.

2012 Goal #1: The ever-present "lose weight & get healthier"

So, weeks ago, I promised to start sharing posts about my 2012 goals and how they all tie in to my commitment to "grabbing the ring" this year and going after the things I want. Today is the start of those posts.

Goal number one is the one that I know is also goal number one for so many people out there each year: lose weight and get healthier. God has blessed me with an incredibly healthy body - I have no allergies, no chronic or genetic health concerns or difficulties. I have birthed two beautiful children completely naturally. And I have shown my gratitude for this blessing by allowing my body to become overweight and soft.

Now, I know I shall never have rock-hard abs, look like Jillian Michaels, or even look as I did in college. But now that I am done having children, the last of my excuses for taking my body more seriously has evaporated.

So, my first goal for 2012 is: "Get fit after pregnancy by losing 25 pounds and two pant sizes by 12/31/12." I have about 50 pounds to lose total, but I feel that 25 pounds is a realistic goal for me for one year given that I am a mother of two young children and a wife to a wonderful man, I do work full-time, and I do have other goals and dreams for this year.

I'm still working on my everyday plan for how to achieve this goal. Here's what I have so far:

• Meal plan every Saturday for the week ahead, including lunches to take to work.
• Limit eating out for dinner to only twice a month. (This will also help with the goal of saving money and paying down debt.)
• Find ways to incorporate activity into my day every day

That last one is where I get stumped. I don't have a gym membership and am not willing to pay the fees anyway. I have lots of great workout DVDs but have been struggling to find the motivation and/or the time to get downstairs and just do them. Once Spring arrives, family walks, jogs, and tennis outings will make activity a much easier thing to achieve.

This goal is clearly going to require some more attention and action planning in order to make it one that I can truly achieve.

The good news is that I've already lost three pounds this year. Only 22 more to go!

Do you have any great tips or ideas for fitting in gym-free activity in the winter months? I'd love to hear them!

Save $$ and have fun: Homemade pizza with the kids

Since becoming a family of four, I've been working to find ways to address my two biggest concerns: finances and attention to our older daughter.

For dinner last night, I decided to look for a way to combine some money-saving with a fun family activity that Little Girl could play a big role in completing. Pizza seemed like the perfect solution. It's one of our favorite meals to have when we're looking to treat ourselves and is simple enough to make that I could include my daughter in every step of the process. Best of all, the entire pizza cost only about $4 to make!

I started by grating the cheese and making the sauce before Little Girl got home from school. I grated about 1 1/2 cups of fresh mozzarella cheese and about 1/2 a cup of fresh parmesan cheese. I later found out that I grated WAY too much, so you could easily get away with 1 cup of cheese total.


Grated cheese, sauce, and crust mix, all ready to go!

 To make the sauce for the pizza, I combined together one can of tomato paste and half a jar of Bertolli Tomato & Basil flavored pasta sauce. Using the pasta sauce saved me having to season my pizza sauce myself.

Once Little Girl got home from school, I made the dough for the crust. I had purchased a Betty Crocker mix at the grocery store for $1.29 and it was easy-peasy to make - just add warm water, mix, and let stand for about five minutes.

After letting the pizza dough stand, I stretched it out onto the pizza pan, put the sauce on it and then let Little Girl go to town with the cheese and pepperoni. She took her job very seriously and was committed to making the best pizza ever. I'd intended to take a picture of her topping our pizza pie, but Little Man started complaining that he hadn't had his dinner yet.

Once it was topped, into the oven it went and we had a delicious homemade pizza ready for dinner in only 15 minutes! Again, my apologies for the lack of a "finished product" picture - Little Man would wait for his dinner no longer so Hot Husband ended up finishing off the pizza and slicing it up for everybody while I fed Little Man.

All told, I think my plan was a success. I had a few minutes of special time with Little Girl while also teaching her a bit more about meal planning and preparation and we had a delicious dinner that didn't hurt our pocketbook.

What's your favorite meal to make to save money and involve the kids?

Be careful what you wish for....

My daughter was a beautiful baby but very challenging when it came to sleep. She didn't sleep longer than five hours at a time until she was well over seven months old. I only got eight weeks of maternity leave with her, so I was a very tired momma for several months until she finally learned to sleep at night.

When I was pregnant this time, I kept telling people, "I just want this one to sleep through the night sooner than his sister did." And, boy, did I get my wish. Little Man has been sleeping through night - and I'm talking 8-10 hours straight - for almost three weeks now.

But we all know the saying...

Apparently the trade-off, at least for now, is that Little Man sees little need to sleep during the day. Overall, I'm perfectly okay with this because he's happy and playful and easy. But after four or five hours, he starts to get tired and cranky and will generally fall asleep while nursing, only to wake up screaming within 5 minutes of me putting him down.

I finally got him down for a real nap after 7 hours of being awake, and only by letting him sleep on me. After 30 minutes, I moved him to his crib where he has been sleeping quietly for 40 more minutes.

I'm still on leave, so I'm happy to go with his flow for now. But I'm returning to work soon and am nervous that my mother-in-law might not handle the not napping so well.

Uh-oh... screaming from the nursery. I guess I'll be closing this post here. You mommas out there, any tips or suggestions for encouraging good sleep during the day?

Spring in February?

Just popping in quickly (Little Man is due to wake up from his nap at any moment) to share the beautiful sunshine that is pouring down on us today.

The tree in our front garden is starting to bud already! On February 1! That's just wild.

I hope that all of you are having a fantabulous Wednesday and that you are able to get out and soak up some of this fabulous Vitamin D. Lord knows we don't usually see the sun this much this time of year.

What's your favorite thing to do on nice winter days?

The Greater Cleveland Aquarium = Awesome

We finally made it to the new Greater Cleveland Aquarium on Saturday, the one-week anniversary of its opening. My first impression as we walked from our car to the Powerhouse was, "Holy smokes, I am SO glad we purchased our tickets online."

Quick tip: Purchase your tickets online at the Aquarium's website. This allows you to go straight to the front of the line and enter the aquarium immediately. Also, please note that strollers and wagons are not allowed in the aquarium most days right now because of the large crowds.

I wish that I'd had my camera available to take a picture of the monstrous line waiting to get in when we arrived. There were easily 200 people waiting in line. It was so wonderful to see such an interest, especially because we didn't have to wait in that line.

The visit was a surprise to Little Girl; she knew we were going somewhere but she didn't know where until we actually entered the aquarium and she saw the first tank of fish. My first thought was how peaceful the aquarium felt, even teeming with hundreds of people as it was that afternoon. The lighting is subdued, with the focus being on the tanks and the fish. Most of the tanks are open at the top which, weird as it may sound, added to the tranquility of it all. You could almost imagine yourself sitting lakeside or pondside and just watching the fish swim.

Little Girl was like a child transported. She absolutely loves fish and I thought her little body was going to explode with excitement when she realized where we were. She was so excited to see each and every fish in all the tanks. She wanted to know what each fish was called and I'm fairly certain that she made my mother take a picture of just about every fish in every tank in the building. Even Little Man, snug in his carrier, was enthralled by the sights and sounds around him.

As someone who remembers Friday and Saturday nights at the Powerhouse eating dinner at TGIFridays and then hitting Howl at the Moon for some drinks and dueling piano entertainment, I was very interested to see how they had incorporated the original character of the power plant into the design of the aquarium. I wasn't disappointed. You definitely feel as if you're walking through a historical building as you travel from area to area within the aquarium, and one of my favorite features was the skylight that let you look up the side of one of the 200-foot-tall smoke stacks. I also got a kick out of the spiny lobster tank that now occupies the base of one of the other stacks of the building.

As someone who has been to many great aquariums in the country, including the National Aquarium, the Boston Aquarium, and the Monterey Bay Aquarium, I was particularly pleased to see how the touch pool was designed and implemented. Gone are the days, apparently, of shallow pools and people just sticking their hands in the water, lifting out sea creatures, and poking and prodding at them. This is a wonderful thing. The touch pool here is about five feet deep and staffed by folks in wetsuits who slowly bring around bins of sea life that remain submerged in the water. This is so much more respectful to the creatures and also more beneficial to the visitors as they now have a knowledgeable member of the aquarium staff to talk to as they examine these animals more closely. The other side of the touch pool is of the sort that you put your hand in the water, but it contained only sharks and rays and was also staffed by an aquarium employee who was ensuring that the animals were treated respectfully and the visitors were behaving properly.

The walk-through tunnel in the final room of the aquarium was also very impressive. The biggest shark in the tank didn't seem to have any interest in swimming over the tunnel but he did make a few close passes on the sides, during each of which Little Girl jumped up and down and begged my mother to take "just one more picture". The smaller sharks and rays were more than accommodating, though, swimming back and forth over our heads many times. We even got the bonus of seeing a couple of divers cleaning the other side of the glass. Little Girl thought that was hysterical.

All told, we spent about 90 minutes in the aquarium and I'm already looking forward to our next visit. On the drive home we asked Little Girl what her favorite part of the aquarium was. Her response? "I can't decide. I loved it all." I completely agree.

What's in a name?

Good morning, all! In yesterday's post about setting my 2012 goals I mentioned that my next post would be about my goal for starting this blog. I figured a good place to start would be explaining why my blog is titled "Grabbing the Brass Ring".

Carousel, Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, by ldjaffe on flickr

My paternal grandparents lived in Santa Cruz, California, while I was growing up. When my family would visit them, one of the places we'd often go is the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk. Like most little girls, I was wild for horses. I'm talking insanely wild for them. My bedroom walls were covered in pictures of horses that I'd cut from calendars, magazines, etc. So, not surprisingly, my favorite ride at the Boardwalk was the carousel. It's an absolutely gorgeous carousel, too. Check out the picture to the left.

Being an older carousel, one of the features for riders on the outside horses was the ring grab and toss. As you passed by one side of the carousel, there was this metal arm that dispensed small iron and brass rings if you were tall, fast, and coordinated enough to grab one. If you were successful in grabbing one of the rings, there was then this borderline terrifying clown face that you were supposed to toss your ring at, trying to get your ring into the clown's mouth.

I was too young and too short to ever have managed to snag one of those rings, but that didn't stop me from trying every time I went around that carousel.

When I came to the realization (discussed in my first post) that as I've grown older I've allowed myself to make more and more excuses for not going after the things I want - for not chasing my dreams - one of my first thoughts was of that carousel on the boardwalk and of how hard I tried to grab one of those rings each time around even though I knew I wasn't tall enough to reach. Somewhere along the path of growing up and taking on more responsibility I'd lost a lot of that drive and belief in my abilities to make something happen.

I determined that 2012 was the year I wasn't going to let excuses stop me anymore and I started thinking about how I could maintain my energy and enthusiasm for my dreams as the year went on. Creating this blog was the answer, and it became one of my 2012 goals. And "Grabbing the Brass Ring" was the most fitting name I could imagine, as that's what I'll be trying to do this year and into the future. This blog will be the place I'll turn to in order to share my dreams and the steps I'll be taking to turn them into reality. I'm hoping this blog will help to keep my motivated and accountable to myself. Stay tuned in the coming days as I'll be posting about what those dreams are.

Though I think I might be the only one reading this blog right now, I'm hopeful that others will soon join me on the journey. Perhaps you'll see some of yourself as you read through my posts and it would be a wonderful blessing if my words someday give someone else the boost they need to chase their own dreams. Have a blessed and wonderful day!

Goals, not Resolutions

A couple of years ago I stopped setting New Year's Resolutions. I'd grown weary of excitedly setting lofty resolutions each January only to have them blown out of the water by February 1. (Let's be honest, usually well before February 1.)

Multiple goals by shersteve on flickr

So in January 2011, I changed my mindset. I was no longer setting resolutions but would be setting goals for the coming year. And, as much as I bemoan the "SMART" goal during annual review time at work, I was determined that my personal goals would be SMART. They would be specific, manageable, attainable, and all that corporate-speak stuff. As usual, I went a little crazy and set myself about 12 different goals for 2011. And do you want to know what happened? I achieved almost all of them. When I revisited them at the end of the year to do a final tally, I had fully achieved all but four and had made at least some progress on three of those four. (And the fourth one - losing weight - I decided didn't count any longer because I'd been pregnant and had a child in 2011.)

So, feeling proud of my 2011 accomplishments and energized by my dreams and visions for 2012, I set about determining my goals for 2012. What I learned last year was that I did best on the goals that had mini-goals or benchmarks within them. For instance, one of my 2011 goals was to complete four craft projects and I then listed out the four projects that I, ideally, wanted to complete. Not only did I complete those four, but also eight others!

My 2012 goal-setting started in the middle of the night in late December. I had just given my son his middle-of-the-night feeding and, upon returning to bed, found that I couldn't shut my mind off. I couldn't go back to sleep because all these ideas for craft designs, story ideas, book projects, business dreams kept swirling in my mind. Giving up on sleep, I sat up in bed, grabbed my iPhone, and started to type out notes about these ideas. I ended up with nine different notes files including ideas, dreams, and goals. My next several blog posts are going to present most of these goals, starting with one that has already been realized with the creation of this blog.

My goals for 2012 are varied and contain simple, easy-to-achieve ones and also a couple of borderline scary putting-myself-out-there ones, like writing and publishing a book and starting a business. I'm looking forward to sharing them with you.

What's your put-yourself-out-there goal for 2012?

One Fish, Two Fish... in the new tank

This weekend marks the grand opening of the long-awaited Greater Cleveland Aquarium. While I won't be there this weekend (bummer!), I'm looking forward to taking my daughter soon. She's enamored by fish of all sorts, especially sharks, and will watch the fish in the Cleveland Zoo exhibits for ages. Now I'll be able to take her to a place dedicated to showcasing some of the region's and world's diverse marine life and educating about the importance of conservation of these treasures.

The new aquarium features 10 exhibit areas and more than 40 different tanks, including a 500,000 walk-through tank! I can't wait to see my daughter's face as she watches fish swim all around and above her.

If your child is like mine and loves to learn new things, you might be interested in some of these websites that provide learning tools about fish and aquariums. I'm planning on introducing some of these things to my daughter before we go to the aquarium to help her get excited for the visit.

• The Monterey Bay Aquarium in California has several lesson plan units designed for teachers leading field trips to the Aquarium, but they can easily be used by parents with their own children.
• The website Teaching Heart has a full unit on ocean life, including printable activities, reading suggestions, and activities across subject areas, all focused on teaching elementary-age children about the creatures and habitats of the oceans.

When I first moved to Cleveland in September 1994, I was surprised to learn that the city didn't have an aquarium, especially one featuring the marine life of the Great Lakes. This new aquarium has been a long time coming and is just one more feather in Cleveland's cap as a great city of the midwest.

So if you're reading this blog post and are looking for something new and different to do with your family, I encourage you to plan a trip to Cleveland and the new Cleveland Aquarium.

Want other suggestions of great places to go in Cleveland? Just leave a comment and I'll be happy to reply!

Simple and Useful Party Centerpieces

My newborn son's baptism was last weekend and we hosted a small luncheon afterwards for our guests in one of the church meeting rooms. Now, I'm not a frivolous spender so I wasn't keen on spending $10+ a centerpiece for flowers that would die or balloons that would just end up in the trash.

After some brainstorming with my mother, we settled on a pillar candle inside a small hurricane glass. The candles were $7 for two and the small hurricanes were $2.75 each.

When we got home, I used my StoryBook Creator software from Creative Memories to create a custom wrap for the candles that included a picture of my son, a clip art cross, and a sentiment. You could also use Microsoft Publisher or even a word processing program to create this wrap. (Note: Other than being a happy customer, I am in no way affiliated with Creative Memories.) Wrap the paper around the candle, adhere it with some Scotch tape or scrapbooking adhesive and, ta-da, your centerpiece is complete! Just don't forget matches or a lighter!

The finished product!

The end result was a simple yet attractive centerpiece for my tables that also serves a practical purpose that cost me only $6.25 each. The best part? They also provided me with nice and useful favors to give to special people at the baptism, including his godparents.

Please note that I've altered the picture to protect my child's identity.

What's This All About Anyway?

I mentioned in my first post that I was still determining what sorts of things I would feature on this blog. Well, I think I have it largely figured out. It's going to be a bit of a hodge-podge of things, so consider yourself forewarned. :)  At any point in time, this blog may feature:

• Pictures of and instructions for craft projects
• Pictures of and instructions for some of my favorite recipes
• Praise and laud for some of my favorite products and services (for which, unfortunately, I am receiving no compensation of any sort)
• Updates on my progress toward my 2012 goals, which will be posted soon
• Sharing my products and patterns as they are created
• Articles, thoughts, and insights on the joys and tribulations of parenting
• Reviews of and information about places and events in the Northeast Ohio area
• Sharing other great blogs I stumble upon
• Anything else that strikes my fancy

Sound good? Still on board with me? Good. I hope that you'll join in the conversation, ask me questions, and give me challenges. Talk to you again soon!

Hello, 2012! Get ready for a great year!

Hello, 2012! And hello, blogging world! I've created this blog because, during a sleepless night recently, I resolved that 2012 is going to be the year I stop talking myself out of things. You see, I just had my second child and my life is not what I envisioned it would be at this stage of my life.

Don't get me wrong, my life is great. I have a my health and my family's health, a loving husband, two great kids, and a job that I enjoy most of the time. But I want to be a stay-at-home-mom (at least part-time) and I've long been suppressing my creative side.

Earlier this week, after my son's 2:00 a.m. feeding, I couldn't get back to sleep. I mean, I REALLY couldn't get back to sleep. My mind wouldn't stop and I was awake for the next six hours with all these varied and lofty and creative ideas swirling in my mind. In the past, I'd think to myself "That would be cool" and then go to sleep and never do anything with or about my ideas.

But something was different this time. I found myself writing my ideas down, and one idea would lead to two more. First an idea for an e-book, then an idea for a sewing project to create, then an idea for three cross-stitch patterns. Then an idea for an etsy store name. This was so unlike me, but I found myself feeling excited about the possibilities of finally saying "YES!" to the ideas that I have and doing all I can to make them a reality.

With that introduction, you're probably asking, "Okay, great, but what's this blog going to be about?" To be honest, I haven't completely decided yet. I know I'll be sharing ideas as they come to me, and I'll be blogging about my goals and steps I'm taking to reach them. I'll probably also seek advice from time to time. And, maybe, if I'm really blessed and lucky, I'll inspire someone else to stop talking themselves out of pursuing the things in life that truly engage and excite them.

I'm resolved to make 2012 my best year ever! Who's with me?