And We Hold Our Babies Tighter

We woke this morning to news that a second student passed away after being shot at Chardon High School yesterday. I was going to blog about my goals or something fluffy today, but I look at Little Man playing in his gym and I can't do it.

I wasn't planning on blogging about Chardon High School either, though, as the news outlets and other blogs have already done so quite eloquently. But I look at my son and I think of my daughter off at her preschool and I wonder how I'll explain things like this to them as they get older.

We talk frequently with our daughter about the blessings God gives us in life. And I know someday - probably sooner than I'd like - she'll ask me why God lets horrific things like this happen too. And I wonder whether I'll have an answer she'll be able to accept.

For now, I sit here and I cherish my children, grateful I got to hug and kiss them last night and greet them with a smile this morning.

And I send up prayers in support of all those for whom the world changed forever yesterday.

That Time of Year Again

For those of us who celebrate, the season of Lent is upon us. This year was the first in at least 10 years, I think, that we didn't make it to Ash Wednesday service. It felt weird not going. Odd as it may sound, Ash Wednesday is my favorite liturgical observance - I find the self-reflection and humbleness that the season of Lent encourages to be a refreshing time of year. In this warp-speed-paced world, Lent reminds me each year to center myself and re-focus on what's really important both spiritually and in my day-to-day life.

In the spirit of re-centering and re-focusing, I also look to the season of Lent as a time to focus my attentions on improving myself in some small way. In years past, I've worked on improving my health by giving up fast food or chocolate.

This year, I've given up something that may seem bizarre. I've given up yelling.

Don't take that the wrong way - I'm not an angry, temper-tossing fusspot. My Lenten sacrifice could just as easily be turned on its head and phrased as "I've determined to balance my emotions and stress levels in a more positive way."

You see, I have a new baby at home, I've just returned to work, I have a five-year-old, and a very busy husband. Even though Little Man sleeps very well at night (knock on wood), the transition back to work has made me a very tired momma. Little Girl is like the old nursery rhyme - most of the time she's great, an absolute joy, but when she's bad she's awful.

And one of the things I've noticed through all these recent transitions and added stressors in my life is that I yell more than I used to. And I don't like how that makes me feel or those I love. So my Lenten promise is to fix it.

So, yes, it may be a bit weird. And I'm sure I'll slip up here and there. But the beauty of making this my Lenten promise is that, for the next 40 days, it's going to be forefront in my mind. And when I feel the stress closing in or my frustration levels rising, I'll have that mental tap on the brain to remind myself to focus and center and handle myself in a more positive and constructive way. And that will be better for me and for my family.

What is your Lenten promise?

Back to Work

Friday was my first day back to work since Little Man was born. I have the good fortune of only having to go back part-time for the rest of the academic year, but knowing that didn't really make the first day back any easier.

 

For me, the hardest part was actually Thursday night. As I gave Little Man his night-night feeding, I found that I didn't want it to end. He'd long since finished nursing and fallen asleep on my shoulder and I still sat there, holding him close and rocking him. After ten minutes, I steeled myself to get up and put him into his crib. After all, he needs his proper sleep just as I do. I kissed his little head as I laid him down, turned out his lamp, and quietly left his room.

Then I walked into the living room and lost it. I sobbed into my husband's shoulder for a good five minutes.

I recall having similar feelings when I had to return to work after Little Girl was born. And I know my feelings are not unique among the community of working moms. Whether we work because we want to or because we have to, we all miss our children and wish that we could have more time with them.

My biggest concern in going back to work is time management. How early do I have to get up to get myself ready, get Little Man's bottles and things ready, and get him up, dressed, fed, and in his car seat. I did okay on Friday, if leaving 10 minutes late without having eaten breakfast can be considered okay. (I say yes, it can be.)

Of course, the only reason I did that well was because I packed all his bottles and other things, laid out all my clothes in the bathroom, and packed my lunch the night before. Here's hoping I can continue to get all those things done in the evenings. If not, then I fear I'll be up the proverbial creek missing that all-essential paddle.

Fortunately, once at work, I was busy all day and it was 5:00 almost before I knew it. Thank goodness for small favors.

So far, the best lesson I've learned being a working mom of two is to plan and pack ahead as much as possible to make the mornings go smoothly.

What's your best tip for getting two or more kids out of the house on time in the mornings?

I find this so disheartening

Ironically, on the same day I posted my last entry about my 2012 goal to lose weight and get healthier, I received a catalog in the mail from a company I'd never heard of before. I won't name the company here except to say that I was initially excited by their byline: "Dedicated to the art of well-being". I thought perhaps the catalog would offer me time-saving products, products designed to help me organize my home and life, etc.

Nope. I turned to the first two pages and was almost disgusted to see that, of the eight products featured, all of them were beauty products and four of them were designed to either hide "flaws", help you lose weight, make you look slimmer, or otherwise shape your body to make you look "better" than you are naturally. And the rest of the catalog (all 49 pages of it), followed in the same vein.

Now I know many women go in for this kind of stuff. That much is obvious; if they didn't, these kinds of companies or products wouldn't even exist.

But, as much as I groan when I see my stretch marks and huff in frustration when I measure my hips and rear end, it saddens me to see all this targeted merchandising preying on the insecurities of women. Am I happy with my stretch marks? No, they're definitely not attractive. But they are a sign of the fact that my body carried two healthy babies to term, nurturing them and protecting them. Do I wish my hips and bottom were slimmer so I could fit into the "cool" styles of jeans? Sometimes. But God made me this way and blessed me with good health, so I really have no room for complaint.

Ladies, we're none of us perfect. But we're all of us beautiful just the way we are. And I'm personally looking forward to tearing that catalog up and tossing it in recycling.

True beauty is the self confidence to be comfortable in your own skin.

2012 Goal #1: The ever-present "lose weight & get healthier"

So, weeks ago, I promised to start sharing posts about my 2012 goals and how they all tie in to my commitment to "grabbing the ring" this year and going after the things I want. Today is the start of those posts.

Goal number one is the one that I know is also goal number one for so many people out there each year: lose weight and get healthier. God has blessed me with an incredibly healthy body - I have no allergies, no chronic or genetic health concerns or difficulties. I have birthed two beautiful children completely naturally. And I have shown my gratitude for this blessing by allowing my body to become overweight and soft.

Now, I know I shall never have rock-hard abs, look like Jillian Michaels, or even look as I did in college. But now that I am done having children, the last of my excuses for taking my body more seriously has evaporated.

So, my first goal for 2012 is: "Get fit after pregnancy by losing 25 pounds and two pant sizes by 12/31/12." I have about 50 pounds to lose total, but I feel that 25 pounds is a realistic goal for me for one year given that I am a mother of two young children and a wife to a wonderful man, I do work full-time, and I do have other goals and dreams for this year.

I'm still working on my everyday plan for how to achieve this goal. Here's what I have so far:

• Meal plan every Saturday for the week ahead, including lunches to take to work.
• Limit eating out for dinner to only twice a month. (This will also help with the goal of saving money and paying down debt.)
• Find ways to incorporate activity into my day every day

That last one is where I get stumped. I don't have a gym membership and am not willing to pay the fees anyway. I have lots of great workout DVDs but have been struggling to find the motivation and/or the time to get downstairs and just do them. Once Spring arrives, family walks, jogs, and tennis outings will make activity a much easier thing to achieve.

This goal is clearly going to require some more attention and action planning in order to make it one that I can truly achieve.

The good news is that I've already lost three pounds this year. Only 22 more to go!

Do you have any great tips or ideas for fitting in gym-free activity in the winter months? I'd love to hear them!

Save $$ and have fun: Homemade pizza with the kids

Since becoming a family of four, I've been working to find ways to address my two biggest concerns: finances and attention to our older daughter.

For dinner last night, I decided to look for a way to combine some money-saving with a fun family activity that Little Girl could play a big role in completing. Pizza seemed like the perfect solution. It's one of our favorite meals to have when we're looking to treat ourselves and is simple enough to make that I could include my daughter in every step of the process. Best of all, the entire pizza cost only about $4 to make!

I started by grating the cheese and making the sauce before Little Girl got home from school. I grated about 1 1/2 cups of fresh mozzarella cheese and about 1/2 a cup of fresh parmesan cheese. I later found out that I grated WAY too much, so you could easily get away with 1 cup of cheese total.


Grated cheese, sauce, and crust mix, all ready to go!

 To make the sauce for the pizza, I combined together one can of tomato paste and half a jar of Bertolli Tomato & Basil flavored pasta sauce. Using the pasta sauce saved me having to season my pizza sauce myself.

Once Little Girl got home from school, I made the dough for the crust. I had purchased a Betty Crocker mix at the grocery store for $1.29 and it was easy-peasy to make - just add warm water, mix, and let stand for about five minutes.

After letting the pizza dough stand, I stretched it out onto the pizza pan, put the sauce on it and then let Little Girl go to town with the cheese and pepperoni. She took her job very seriously and was committed to making the best pizza ever. I'd intended to take a picture of her topping our pizza pie, but Little Man started complaining that he hadn't had his dinner yet.

Once it was topped, into the oven it went and we had a delicious homemade pizza ready for dinner in only 15 minutes! Again, my apologies for the lack of a "finished product" picture - Little Man would wait for his dinner no longer so Hot Husband ended up finishing off the pizza and slicing it up for everybody while I fed Little Man.

All told, I think my plan was a success. I had a few minutes of special time with Little Girl while also teaching her a bit more about meal planning and preparation and we had a delicious dinner that didn't hurt our pocketbook.

What's your favorite meal to make to save money and involve the kids?

Be careful what you wish for....

My daughter was a beautiful baby but very challenging when it came to sleep. She didn't sleep longer than five hours at a time until she was well over seven months old. I only got eight weeks of maternity leave with her, so I was a very tired momma for several months until she finally learned to sleep at night.

When I was pregnant this time, I kept telling people, "I just want this one to sleep through the night sooner than his sister did." And, boy, did I get my wish. Little Man has been sleeping through night - and I'm talking 8-10 hours straight - for almost three weeks now.

But we all know the saying...

Apparently the trade-off, at least for now, is that Little Man sees little need to sleep during the day. Overall, I'm perfectly okay with this because he's happy and playful and easy. But after four or five hours, he starts to get tired and cranky and will generally fall asleep while nursing, only to wake up screaming within 5 minutes of me putting him down.

I finally got him down for a real nap after 7 hours of being awake, and only by letting him sleep on me. After 30 minutes, I moved him to his crib where he has been sleeping quietly for 40 more minutes.

I'm still on leave, so I'm happy to go with his flow for now. But I'm returning to work soon and am nervous that my mother-in-law might not handle the not napping so well.

Uh-oh... screaming from the nursery. I guess I'll be closing this post here. You mommas out there, any tips or suggestions for encouraging good sleep during the day?

Spring in February?

Just popping in quickly (Little Man is due to wake up from his nap at any moment) to share the beautiful sunshine that is pouring down on us today.

The tree in our front garden is starting to bud already! On February 1! That's just wild.

I hope that all of you are having a fantabulous Wednesday and that you are able to get out and soak up some of this fabulous Vitamin D. Lord knows we don't usually see the sun this much this time of year.

What's your favorite thing to do on nice winter days?