A Freeing Decision... and Some Changes

I created this blog with the intention of using it to chronicle my efforts at starting a business this year. I've read books, written plans, and am currently taking an amazing Business e-Course through which I've learned SO much and met so many amazing women with beautiful businesses and ideas.

But the most recent lesson I've learned was the most surprising. It was also the most freeing.

Lesson Learned

I learned that I don't want to run a business right now.

"What's that?" you say? You read that right. I don't want to run a business right now.

It came to me last night as I was talking to my mom about how I needed to be working on my website and about how I should be putting together a marketing plan. That little clever voice in my soul asked me why I wasn't more excited about doing these things; why they felt like chores. And the answer, when I stopped and sat still and listened?

Because it isn't the right time right now, dear heart.

That's right. I do still dream of making a living helping others while being my own boss. But that time isn't now.

Staying True

Like many women, I tend to stress. And lately I've been stressing about money. After Little Man's birth, I took the maximum maternity leave allowed by my employer and then I took the maximum part-time transition period allowed by my employer. I cherished this time with Little Man, but it was taxing on our finances and savings account. Which led me stress about needing to make more money.

Enter the business plan. And here's the interesting thing. That created a vicious cycle. I was stressed about money so I decided I needed to make more money by starting up my business. But then I was stressing about needing to work on my business after a long day of work and caring for my children and family. To get rid of my stress I was creating a different kind of stress.

Realizing that cycle was a revelation. And choosing to say "not right now" to my business? That was the lightest I've felt in ages.

Freedom!

Here's the truth of the matter. I'm at a point in my life that I'll never get back. Little Girl starts kindergarten this fall. Little Man just turned seven months old and is doing new things almost every day. These are days that will never come again. And I want to be able to truly savor them. I want to be happy and engaged and fully present in these amazing moments.

The Lord has richly blessed me in the ways that truly matter. Sure, I'll still be stressed about money for the time being. But it's all about perspective. Yes, I have more debt than I'd like, but we can still pay our mortgage and bills and put food on the table. We are richly blessed. My business idea will still be there when I'm ready to work on it and have it be fun and fulfilling rather than another source of stress.

What's Next Here?

I'm still going to blog here. This decision-making process has reminded me that I'm still more Type A than I would like - a bit too much of a control freak and a bit too much of a stress bunny. Life should be a celebration of joy and the blessings we receive. I lose focus on that more often than I should.

I'm still pursuing that brass ring, but what that ring is has changed. Now it's a life of joy and gratitude. And that's what I'll be blogging about now. I'll be sharing the things that make me happy, positive and uplifting stories, and my efforts at letting go and finding my more carefree soul. I hope you'll stick around for the ride!

Have You Filled Your Bucket Today?

Out of the blue at dinner tonight, Little Girl declared that my mother and I needed to smile at each other so we could be "bucket fillers" instead of "bucket dippers".

"What do you mean, sweetie?" I asked her.


Photo source

In the manner of 5-year-olds, her explanation was lengthy and a bit scattered, but the gist of it was that we need to do things for ourselves and for each other that "fill our bucket" and we need to make sure that we aren't stealing from other people's buckets by being mean to them, otherwise known as being a "bucket dipper". It seems there is a book at her school about this very thing that she read the other day. Clearly, it made an impact.

And she made an impact on me tonight. Her talk of bucket fillers and dippers reminded me of what got me excited about the idea of running my own business in the first place. I enjoy my full-time job and I'm good at it, but it doesn't fill my bucket. What percentage of my bucket is filled by my job all to often is countered by the "dips" from my bucket that happen when my job leaves me too little time or energy for my super-charged (and favorite) bucket filler: my family.

While Little Girl was reading her Bucket Book, I've been reading a book of my own about making the most out of the eight hours a day that we're not at work or sleeping. (And, yes, I do recognize the irony of spending those eight hours reading a book about how to maximize those eight hours.)

I want to use those other eight hours to make my bucket overflow. I want to receive the spiritual uplift I get from using my talents to help fill the buckets of those around me. THIS is what has kept me in the constant refrain of "I want my own business" for the past three or four years. I have talents and gifts to share and I've learned over time that my bucket runneth over when I help others' buckets runneth over.

When I have those moments of self-doubt, those moments of fear - fear of failure, fear of success - this is what I shall return to. My business dreams, and the people I'll help when those dreams are realized, are what will fill my bucket.

What fills your bucket?

Big wild scary wonderful dreams

For too long I've let my job title define me. "I can't run a crafting or freelance business or write a children's book because I'm a career counselor, not an author or an entrepreneur." Why can't I be all those things? With only one shot at this life, why shouldn't I pursue everything that interests and excites me? 

That question is what sparked me to start this blog in the first place; this was to be my "home base" for starting my entrepreneurial dreams and sharing all the fears, challenges, and (hopefully) successes that go with it. Instead I've used it as my home base to talk about everything but that. And that's okay. I've been writing about things that excite me and that I love and want to share.

What hasn't been okay is that I've also been writing about those things as an excuse not to take that terrifying first leap into the business of my dreams. No longer. This post is my announcement to the world that I will shortly be making my business dreams a reality.

I'm tossing out the beliefs that I have to have it all figured out before "going public". Instead, I'm going to learn on the job, just like I have when I've been working for someone else.

I'm tossing out the beliefs that I have to be recognized as an expert by somebody else before anybody will want to hire me. Instead, I have faith and confidence in my talents and abilities. I know my strengths and I know where I have lots more to learn.

I have gifts to share and a desire to help others and a dream of making a better life for myself, my family, and those I work with. 

So, while I will still continue to blog about Northeast Ohio, suggestions for family fun, and other things of interest to me, you'll also start to see more about my efforts to make my business dreams a reality! It's going to be an exciting ride and I can't wait to share it all with all of you!


(P.S. If you're curious about what has helped me muster the conviction to stop procrastinating and just get myself out there already, I encourage you to check out Leonie Dawson and wonderful circles of women she has helped to form over at the Goddess Guidebook Circle. I'm only one week into her Business Goddess e-Course, but it has already helped me to see that my ideas aren't crazy and to let go of that feeling that everything has to be perfect before I can send it out into the world.)

Sharing Memorial Day with Your Children

This is Memorial Day weekend here in the United States. All around us are signs that summer is approaching - the weather is getting warmer, barbecues are out, farmers markets are open, and the Cleveland Indians are in first place. In recent years it seems as if Memorial Day has more and more just come to signal "the unofficial start of summer" (as one newscaster stated recently) and an opportunity to snag some great deals at your favorite stores.


Photo source

 But Memorial Day is about so much more than that. Perhaps I feel it more keenly because I grew up on military installations around the world. I am the daughter, granddaughter, niece, and cousin of career Air Force veterans and an active duty Army soldier. It was easy to understand the meaning of Memorial Day when you were surrounded by the day-to-day activities of protecting and defending our country.

Now that I'm a full-fledged "civvie" (aka civilian), I ask myself each year how I can properly teach Little Girl about the importance of Memorial Day. I want her to understand the role our military personnel have played over the years in helping to ensure the freedoms she enjoys as an American citizen are always hers to enjoy.

The concepts of Memorial Day are often challenging for young children to understand. "Freedom" and the benefits that go with it are very abstract ideas and the concept of death can be very scary to some kids. If you have a young child like me, perhaps these tips and ideas will help you introduce Memoral Day and its significance to your little American:

• Ask your child. Start by asking what she thinks Memorial Day is. Some schools teach about the day, so asking what your child already knows will help you decide where to take the conversation.
• Have a short vocabulary lesson. Talk about what it means to remember something or someone. Explain that when we remember someone in a specific way, like with a picture or a story or a gravestone, we are memorializing them and that's where the term Memorial Day comes from.
• Put out the flag. Let your child help you put your flag out on Memorial Day. Talk with him about the meanings of our flag and the things that it symbolizes.
• Read a book. There have been lots of books written about Memorial Day and about soldiers and other military members. Head to your local library and find one or two age-appropriate ones that can help tell the story of our country and our military to your wee one. Sit together to read and discuss the story.
• Cemetery walk. If you think it's appropriate for your child's age and personality, take a family trip to a nearby cemetery. If possible, make it a military cemetery. The visual of the flags, flowers, and other decorations will help make the abstract idea of Memorial Day more concrete in your little one's mind.
• Hit the parade. If there's a parade in your neighborhood and your child handles crowds well, grab the folding chairs and snag your spot on the parade route. The activity will be exciting for your child and you'll have the opportunity to talk to them about all the various symbols of our country that will show up as the parade passes.

There are also lots of resources on the internet to help you explain Memorial Day to your children, including coloring pages, puzzles, crafts and activities, poems, and more. (These links all came from the same website, but a search for "teaching kids Memorial Day" yields a lengthy list of other resources as well.)

What will you be doing to teach your child the importance of Memorial Day?

Great New Foodie Destination: Hodge's Downtown Cleveland

Last night was Hot Hubby's 35th birthday and to celebrate I took him to dinner at Hodge's Downtown Cleveland. This new restaurant, founded and run by food truck pioneer and proud Cleveland native Chris Hodgson, opened a couple of months ago. For the past two years, Hodgson has been feeding us on the streets from his trucks, Dim and Den Sum and Hodge Podge. Now he has a permanent location from which to serve his upscale takes on classic comfort foods.

And he does not disappoint.

The restaurant itself has a comfortable, masculine-country feel to it, with simple decorating, beautiful old-wood paneling, and perhaps the most comfortable armchair-like seats I've ever sat in at a restaurant. We sat in the smaller upstairs dining area, which afforded us a nice view of the large bar area while distancing us enough from the noise of the bar that we could actually carry on a conversation without needing to raise our voices. I really appreciated that.

Our dinner started with a gratis amuse bouche from the chef of tater tots with a parmesan & bacon topping served with creme fraiche dipping sauce. We munched on those while perusing the varied dinner menu and trying to decide what we wanted to try. We decided to start with the Hodge's Honey Ribs. These were perfectly cooked - the meat fell right off the bone, the outside had a nice crisp to it and the inside was tender, juicy, and deliciously flavorful. The honey mustard glaze provided a sharp yet sweet tang and accompanying sherry slaw was well-balanced complement.

For dinner, Hot Hubby ordered the "Unfried" Chicken and I opted for the French Onion Ravioli. We were also treated to a skillet of cornbread to accompany our meal. I adore cornbread, and this was some of the best I've ever had. This is when we discovered that the value for the price at Hodge's is better than expected. The "Unfried" Chicken was a half-chicken, beautifully roasted and perfectly cooked. Like the ribs, it was falling off the bone and incredibly juicy. The accompanying macaroni & cheese was served in a cast iron dish and was also very tasty.

My French Onion Ravioli was, not exaggerating, the best thing I have eaten in a very long time. Describing it as ravioli with a French Onion Soup sauce is too simplistic. The homemade ravioli were stuffed with ricotta and gruyere, which provided a smooth flavor and texture to balance the tang of the French Onion reduction. It was seriously so delicious. I can see myself being hard pressed to try new things the next time we visit because I'll want to eat this again and again.

We ended our meal with a brownie sundae topped with Mitchell's Hodge Podge ice cream. The brownie was crispy on the outside and gooey on the inside, and we joked that Hodge's sister Catie had to have a hand in the ice cream recipe as it was chock full of the puppy chow that she sold like hot cakes on The Great Food Truck Race.

We got a laugh when our bill was delivered to us on a tray in a red envelope printed with "THE DAMAGE" in silver letters. And while the bill wasn't cheap (we'd also each had a cocktail), the value was excellent. Portion sizes were large, and we appreciate that most of the food served is locally sourced. All in all, we're already looking forward to our next visit.

Blessings of Family

My apologies for my extended absences of late. I've been taking a bit of a hiatus from regular updates because my mom is visiting from out of town.

You see, I'm a Northeast Ohio transplant. I came here for college, but had no family or other close ties to the state. My father was active duty military my entire childhood and, when he retired, my parents moved to the Puget Sound area of Washington. It's a gorgeous place to visit, but it means that I generally don't see my parents very often.


Momma w/Little Man



But my mom is retired now, which means that she now has the time to enjoy extended stays with us. Since Little Man was born, this has been a wonderful blessing. She came out before he was born to help us get ready and to be with Little Girl when Hot Hubby and I had to go to the hospital for Little Man's arrival. She stayed for some of my maternity leave before heading home.

And now she's back to help watch Little Man during the days when I'm at work. This is a tremendous blessing because infant child care is absurdly expensive! Plus, this is precious time for her, too, getting to know her grandchildren better.

My momma is one of my best friends, so I'm soaking up as much time with her as I can. This means, unfortunately, that I'm not updating as frequently. But don't despair - I'm still planning posts and do intend to update, just probably only every couple of weeks for the next two months. You all understand, right?

In the spirit of welcoming out-of-towners to our fabulous city, what sights do you think I should take my mom to see?

I sure needed this today... do you?

I love when the universe reminds me there's something bigger and better and greater out there watching over me.

You see, today got off to a really rough start. Like, really rough. Like the kind where I got to work, closed my blinds and my office door and just cried for five minutes. I was feeling unhappy, unappreciated, and disengaged. In a nutshell, I was feeling very negatively about myself.

Then I checked my Reader feed and saw this waiting for me:

It was from a blog post by Goddess Leonie, who I've recently discovered and who has been helping me keep myself focused on the positive and all the wonderful gifts I have to offer to my family, friends, co-workers and the world.

I was most definitely feeling NOT AT ALL awesome this morning. But I'm feeling slightly more awesome now - all it took was the universe reminding me, via the Goddess community.

The blog post challenged me to list all the ways that I'm awesome. I only have time right now to list a few, but it's done wonders for my mood already. Here are some of the ways that I am awesome:

1. I always try my very hardest to be a kind, loving, and supportive momma, wife, daughter, and friend.
2. I love cooking for my family - the joy of pulling together separate ingredients into a delicious meal that nurtures my family.
3. I try every day to make sure I'm a better person today than I was yesterday.

I am awesome, even when I don't feel like I am. And you are awesome, too. WE ARE AWESOME. We just need reminding sometimes.

It's your turn now - list some of the ways that you are awesome. I promise your day will look brighter and your soul will feel lighter.

Make today a great day!